Please Don’t Ask Me How I’m Doing
Can we not all collectively agree that once we reach adulthood, best case scenario, there is some plumbing disaster or appliance debacle that just occurred?
Micro Rage
Chocolate stains. Why is something so delicious, so utterly impossible to get out of my five-year-old’s white polo shirts? Also, why is she always getting chocolate stains on her white polo shirts? I mean, I am pretty amazing at stains, but even if I’m spraying her shirt down as she dribbles chocolate on it, the stain almost always sets. (Advice may be welcome. I am probably just going to burn the shirts in a ritualistic sacrifice to the laundry gods.)
Macro Rage
Greeting each other with, “How’s it going?” or “How are you doing?”
Why is this still a thing?
Can we not all collectively agree that once we reach adulthood, best case scenario, there is some plumbing disaster or appliance debacle that just occurred?
Then there is the reality of the dumpster fire that is life. There are endless mass shootings, frequently in schools just like the ones I send my kids to each weekday morning. Climate change is wreaking havoc across the world, most recently with deadly storms ravaging through the “South, Midwest, Mid-Atlantic.” Many states, including my own, are in a legislative race to the bottom to wreck the lives of trans kids and anyone in possession of a uterus and decimate voting rights. A drug intended for diabetes is being hoarded to stay unnecessarily thin. The list is long. People are the worst sometimes.
Then there is personal life, beautiful, heart-wrenching personal life. A place where bright yellow flowers break through the concrete. Even when it’s glorious, I am not sure everyone wants me to wax poetic about my kids.
As someone who seems to possess an unhealthy predisposition to tell the truth, often providing much more information than is solicited, might I propose a list of things I would much rather be asked:
“Are you alive?” If I respond, yes, follow up with, “Did you see the latest episode of Ted Lasso?”
“What’s the most hilarious thing your five-year-old and/or 11-year-old said recently that restored your faith in humanity?”
“How much do you love the charter school storyline on Abbott Elementary,” and “Do you ship Janine and Gregory, or would you rather see them as friends?”
Have you listened to this prologue from This American Life, and how much do you relate to it?!
Please continue to offer better alternatives to, “How are you doing?” in the comments.
A Small Thing
Writers, and pieces like this, or this newsletter, that make me feel seen.
A Big(ger) Thing
I don’t know. I found myself feeling what I think might have been a bit of burnout after a second day at the Texas Lege, and I’m letting myself have a reset.
I love how the blog Cup of Jo frequently shares posts about what you can do.
I find myself balking at recommendations like #5 to vote, but I really appreciated #6 to “follow and engage.” I would encourage everyone to find something that makes your blood boil and truly engage in meetings and actions with an organization. That next step of involvement makes all the difference.
Please Don’t Ask Me How I’m Doing
I didn’t realize just how much I’d resonate with this. Yeah, why the hell is “how are you doing” the go-to? Especially these days while, ya know, *gestures around frantically at everything*
Love this, Saba. Thanks for sharing ❤️
I’m in the midst of a plumbing crisis and the simultaneous devolution of at least two major appliances. Thanks for not asking me how I’m doing. 💙