All The Things I Have To Do That Society Deems Both Invaluable And Unvaluable
“Women & girls…carry out 12.5 billion hrs of unpaid care work every day. When valued at minimum wage this would represent a contribution to the global economy of at least $10.8 trillion a year.” Oxfam
Micro Rage:
When you buy a pack of pimple patches to have on hand for your tween daughter, but it is your middle-aged cheek that needs it.
Macro Rage:
I created this online space as a place for me to distill the burning rage of modern motherhood into a monthly newsletter. Of course I will share my thoughts in a moment, but in this case, I want to start with the brilliance of Angela Garbes.
Instead of actually writing, which is a central tenet of a newsletter, I’d decided to quickly search for “quotes about domestic labor” to find something to put in the sub header. I was immediately brought to the writings of Angela Garbes. Though Like A Mother has been on my to-read list since it was published, somehow, I missed her second, Essential Labor.
Here is a clip of her discussing it on The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
Down a brief rabbit hole I went, scrolling articles. Can we take a moment for this?
“The labor of parenting is, by nature, the opposite of productive work. It is maintenance and nurturing, tending to our inconvenient bodies, the developing minds and unpredictable whims of our small, vulnerable, and tender offspring.” (Angela Garbes, Romper)
Rather than stoking my rage, I felt seen. The other day I was doing something. Probably dinner, maybe laundry. Some task I’ve relegated as menial and deserving of as little of my time as possible. Somehow in the middle of it I had this (obviously belated) revelation, “but this is essential.” I haven’t read the book, but I’m quite confident Ms. Garbes already said as much and had hard data and eloquent words to explain it.
At that moment in my house, it felt like I had been handed down something akin to a prophetic vision.
I appreciate my full life, and I am not pining to be relegated back solely to the domestic sphere. That said, I find it exhausting to have to cram time consuming tasks into ever smaller measurements of time simply because they hold no tangible economic value. I don’t mind at worst and quite enjoy at best these things when I attribute their full worth. I have no easy answer, except for maybe, at least on occasion allowing myself to recognize this.
Want to fuel your rage? Try out this fun tool.
Invisible Labor Calculator by Amy Westervelt
Would love to hear what numbers you get.
A Small Thing
I know I’m always sharing television in this space, and I do try to think outside that literal box. The truth is, it’s what is working for me. I’d love to drop a cozy read, but right now, PBS Passport is a $120 donation worth a million bucks. I started with All Creatures Great and Small, and after that magnificent Yorkshire escape ended, I restarted The Durrells in Corfu. Sigh. Just thinking about it lowers my blood pressure.
A Big(ger) Thing
Reading. I have a lot of unread books on my nightstand and queued up on my Libby app. My bigger plan of action is to actually read them.
For Houston friends, it’s budget season! Here’s some links of upcoming ways to get involved from Council Member Alcorn:
Submit questions to different city departments here.
There are also a series of budget town halls (May 16th, 18th, 21st, and 28th)
TV is shockingly close to being my best friend right now! Loved the Durrells in Corfu!